Sue House
by D.O.T.E.L
Summary: Yeah, a fifth House has been created at Hogwarts to take into account the large number of new and transfer students arriving every single day. This is a series of short stories about the events in that House. Parody.
1. Chapter 1 Belle Serenity Sequasia

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling has that privilege!

A/N: This is a parody on all the Sue-fics set in Hogwarts.

Belle Serenity Sequasia had long platinum blonde hair that glowed like the rays of a thousand suns. Her eyes were pale, majestic purple, flecked with brilliant gold with a ring of sky blue around the outside. She had curves in all the right places and hips that swished as she walked. She shopped in all the best shopped and wouldn't be seen in clothes that were even mildly unfashionable. She had even dyed her Hogwarts robes shimmering pink and enchanted them with undetectable wandless magic so as they glittered and glowed. Belle had only just come over from America to join Hogwarts as a transfer student and already had the eyes of almost every boy watching her as though hypnotised by her beauty and fashion sense.

Professor McGonagall had told her that she must be sorted into one of the Hogwarts Houses, and so, in front of the entire school she walked gracefully through the Great Hall up to where a battered old hat sat on a stool.

After performing more undetectable wandless magic, she placed the now sparkling, perfect black hat upon her head and waited.

"Oh, another one," said the hat in her ear. "I know just what to do with you – SUE!" There was a large amount of applause from the fifth house table in the hall as the members of the Sue House cheered for their new member. Sparkles filled the air from their special wandless magic and Belle took her seat at their special plush armchairs at the table.

"This is like, so cool!" she said to a girl across the table who had long pink hair, tan skin and eyes that seemed to be deep pools of every colour of the rainbow, constantly swirling and glowing in a most pretty manner. Her robes were golden and shimmery and flowed like water around her delicate body.

"Yeah, check it out!" squealed the girl, casting an extremely complex transfiguration spell on a plate to turn it into a small dragon then back again. "McGonagall is like, so jealous we're better than her!"

"And the guys are like, so hawt!" said another girl who had magnificent angel wings extending from her back.

Just at that second Draco Malfoy passed the Sue table, casuing them to erupt into peals of 'oh my God he's so cute' giggles that often gripped the Sues, even though they knew they could get any boy they wanted with just a flick of their perfect hair or by brewing a Love Potion better than Professor Snape could.

"Draco, will you like, go out with me?" asked Belle in a girly way, flicking her long blonde hair in an extremely entrancing manner.

"Why would I do that, you filthy mudblood?" asked Draco in his drawling voice and he turned to walk away, leaving the rest of Sue House in shock.

"That's so mean!" sobbed Belle, the pearly tears of pure emotion running softly down her perfectly shaped cheeks making her seem much more beautiful.

"Alright the, seven o'clock at the Prefect's bathroom," he muttered and walked off, leaving Belle to smile ecstatically to herself.

"That was like, so amazing!" gasped Eldasaera, the girl with the pink hair.

"Guess I'll have to cancel plans for a bath with that _special someone_," muttered Cedric Diggory at the Hufflepuff table.


	2. Chapter 2 Belle Serenity Sequasia

A/N: Part two of the first story. Enjoy!

That night at seven o'clock Belle was waiting at the Prefect's Bathroom when all of a sudden the corridor was illuminated and a large group of hooded people all surrounded her. The tall one of the group lowered its hood to reveal Dumbledore, looking down his nose with a stern expression.

"My, my, my," he sighed. "This really is getting quite out of hand, isn't it Miss Granger?"

Hermione lowered her hood. "Yes Professor Dumbledore. 'Hogwarts, a history' never mentioned such a problem ever having happened before."

"I cannot see how they can continue to be pupils at this school if they are better in ability than the staff," said Professor McGonagall.

"There is only one solution, right Lord Voldemort?" said Snape, bowing slightly to the last hooded figure.

"Voldie!" said Belle. "I'm your long lost niece!"

"Avada Kedavra!" bellowed Lord Voldemort, and the life left Belle with a loud whooshing sound.

"How many relations have you killed now?" asked Dumbledore curiously.

"Over thirty-thousand daughters and around twenty-thousand nieces," Voldemort replied coolly.

"I'm grateful that we could put our differences, and character, aside so that you could help us with our little infestation," said Dumbledore calmly.

"Just remember Dumbledore – once they're all dead, their spell to mangle canon and make us out of character will break. It will be up to our rightful goddess and creator Mrs Rowling whether I kill you or not."

There was a great part at breakfast that morning to celebrate the destruction of the last Sue at Hogwarts and Harry was given the honour of smashing the Sue House Point Hourglass with proper, wand-aided magic just as canon flooded back into the universe.

"About last night," said Cedric softly so as only Harry could hear…


End file.
